Last week was a very difficult one for a lot of people in my circle of friends. Two families, unconnected to one another, each lost someone too soon. In one case, a precious little boy- 6 years old. In another, a young man about to become a father for the first time.

As a friend or family member how are we to respond to such tragedy?
I don’t have all the answers by any means. But, as someone who has experienced deep sorrow I think a good place to start is to weep with those who weep. It is common in some Christian circles to over spiritualize everything, even to the denial of very real emotions. There is nothing sinful about emotion. Jesus got angry. Jesus rejoiced.

Jesus also wept.

When we see people we love hurting and in pain it is normal (and biblical) to hurt along with them. It’s ok. Weep. Grieve. Wonder. And trust.

The difference is that we do not grieve as people who have no hope. (1 Thes 4:13) The person who trusts in Jesus is able to trust that God is at work in this sadness somehow. I have seen this truth play out in my own life.

If we are to believe the Bible, we understand that nothing enters into our life without first passing through the filter of God’s love for us. (Romans 8:18–39)

This knowledge doesn’t take the pain away but it does make it bearable.

If you know of people who are experiencing a deep sadness here are a couple of suggestions for ministering to them from someone who has been in their shoes.

Be present.

It’s hard to describe how simply showing up can help. You know have to say the right things. You don’t have to say anything. By being present with the family in grief you communicate that they don’t have to walk through this alone.

Share their sorrow

Deal gently with the family in mourning. It takes different people, different amounts of time to process things. Encourage them not to get stuck in their sorrow but allow them room to move at their own pace.

Remind them of the love of God

When the moment is right, remind them of God’s love for them. The world is a broken and sad place. Jesus entered the world to bring about the remedy. Because of that, it is as if eventually “everything sad is coming untrue.”

Since we acknowledge that truth, it is ok to mourn. But we can do so with the hope that things will not always be as they are now.

Have you experienced this type of grief or sadness? How have you experienced comfort from your loved ones?