I have a love-hate relationship with social media. There is no denying its power and reach. However, more and more people are coming to realize there is a very real dark side to its powers.
Like almost everyone else, I became enamored with the allure of reconnecting with old friends through Facebook and other social media services. I remember hearing about the service making the rounds on college campuses and could see the potential it possessed to bring people together. But, not in my wildest dreams would I have predicted what it would become.
Like Spiderman’s Uncle, Ben warned us, “With great power comes great responsibility.” And, that’s what has me worried. A lot has been written about social media companies shirking their responsibilities to protect our privacy and act ethically in the world. ** I fear that we the users haven’t figured out how to properly handle the power that these platforms offer to us. **
Anti – Social Media
Social media services like Facebook, Instagram and whatever else was just created in the last few minutes sold us the promise of being more connected. The opposite has happened.
Research is showing that the more time a person spends on social media the more likely they are to report feelings of loneliness. How can that be?
I think that social media offers us the mirage of friendship. Not the real thing. It offers us interaction, not connection. There is a difference. Sure, you can see what I’m up to. Maybe even “like” or comment on the picture. But, you haven’t shared the experience in the same way you would if I am telling you about it over coffee.
Interacting primarily through social media may temporally scratch the relational itch but ultimately it doesn’t truly satisfy the deep longing humans have to know other people and be known.
Social Media Creates Unrealistic Comparisons
If you follow me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter you see what I want you to see. I’ll admit it. I diligently curate and cultivate the content that is shared across my social media platforms. And, I’m not the only one.
It’s not so much that I am trying to be fake. Everything that I do choose to post is things I experienced or represent things I think. Over time though, I have come to change how I think our platforms should be used.
The highest and best use of social media is two-fold. It is best used to make people smile or to encourage their hearts. (As an elected official now, I’ll add a third – keep residents informed.) Most of the posts I create these days are either pictures of my kids or an encouraging word about something I’ve read.
The flip side of this change though is if you and I aren’t in a real relationship you could easily come to believe my life is all sunshine and happiness. I’ve got a great life, a wonderful family and been lucky to experience some awesome things. You will see some of that while scrolling through my social media feeds.
You won’t see my heartaches, my disappointments, or my frustrations. It isn’t that I don’t have them. Those conversations are reserved for my wife and real-life friends.
The problem becomes that because social media doesn’t offer real connection only the mirage, it is very easy to be fooled. It has happened to me. Within 5 minutes of scrolling through feeds, I become convinced that everyone’s life is better than mine. While they are sitting on a beach in Bali, I’m in my fourth budget meeting of the day. I’ve fallen into the trap.
I don’t think it is bad to cultivate your social media content. I mean, we all have people on our friends list who overshare (you know who you are. Or maybe you don’t lol.)
We just have to acknowledge that participating in social media naturally creates unrealistic comparisons in our lives.
Social Media is a Black Hole
Because social media platforms like Facebook seem to be omnipresent it is difficult to escape their gravitational pull. Such a high percentage of my friends use these services that not participating creates a knowledge and communication gap.
Since I have intentionally stepped back my use, I do feel somewhat out of the loop. I’ve already missed one party that I was invited to because I missed the invitation request. ? We’ve come to assume that if we post something, everyone will see it.
But, precisely because so many people use the service it is increasingly difficult as a public figure not to be involved with social media. One of the largest needs we have in Bartow is better communication with our residents. So for now, that means maintaining a presence on Facebook and other platforms.
Finding a Way Forward
Honestly, if I wasn’t an elected official I would have probably already deactivated my Facebook account. I don’t enjoy that service. But, since I want to be engaged with our residents that isn’t an option for now. So, we need to find a path forward.
In another post, I’ve outlined several ways I am trying to use technology more responsibly. But, I’ll share two ways here that specifically relate to social media.
- Limiting the time we spend on social media – You can set your limits based on what your schedule is like and the demands on your time. But, to guard your health and sanity placing limits on the time you engage on social media platforms is wise. At the Department of Health, we recommend two hours or less recreational screen time.
- Log on with a purpose – if you take the first step and limit the time you spend, it follows that you will want to be intentional with the time you do spend. This means cutting down on the mindless scrolling. Log on, check your messages, drop in on a few friends, hit the highlights then get out and on with your day.
I’ve put these two practices into place and they seem to be helping. Sure, I will still probably miss out on a few things and my FOMO will be activated but protecting myself from the negative effects is more important right now.
There is no denying the power of social media. And, I am not suggesting that it is an entirely bad thing to participate in. I mean, if you are reading this post it is most likely because I shared it to social media. ??♂️ But, like all good things, too much of it can be harmful. Breaking free from the tyranny of our screens is a necessary step more of us must be willing to take.
