There is a feeling somewhere between wanting to puke and swelling with pride. I felt it watching Anna get out of the car last Friday and walk into her first middle school dance.
She had the dress. She had the shoes. The right amount of glamour. Her mother made certain of that. We have the picture to prove it.
All that was left to do was open the door and go inside.
A small piece of my heart got out with her. Moments of change happen every day. The difference is most of the time we aren’t aware when they are happening.
The feeling that accompanies these moments isn’t sadness – not really. Growing up, experiencing new things, this is what we have been preparing her for since she was a little girl.
It’s just that when it happens you are never quite prepared. It sneaks up on you.
The emotion feels heavy. Important. You are tempted to blink your eyes and take a mental picture, hoping it captures the way she looks, her joy, your nerves… all of it.
She will hop out, shut the door and enter the part of her world that is separate from us. We pull away trusting she remembers who she is and to Whom she belongs.
Thankfully, we have a daughter that is patient with her parents’ feelings. She is wise and mature beyond her thirteen years.
There was no date or slow dances. Not yet. Those days will come. I am hoping I will be as prepared as she will be.