Assumed Audience
I’m writing to leaders who enjoy reading and are interested in doing the type of self-reflection necessary to improve their relational abilities.
Author’s Intentions
I have over 20 years of experience leading teams in non-profit, ministerial, small business, and government settings. Despite my experience, I approach the subject of leadership as a lifelong learner with the desire to get better.
Attention all my fellow mission-oriented, systems-focused leaders out there, Encouraging the Heart by Kouzes and Posner would like a word. For most of us, the greatest thrill in leadership is accomplishing the goal, but we can’t afford to lose is the relational connections that make it possible.
People thrive in encouraging environments. The leaders that I have most enjoyed working for and from whom I learned the most embodied a generous spirit. Sadly, in my career, I have not served with many of these types of leaders.
One of the hypotheses that Encouraging the Heart put forth is that it could be that as leaders we aren’t as intentional about encouraging the hearts of our team because we have experienced so little encouragement ourselves. I think this idea has merit.
The Framework of Encouraging the Heart
After some introductory remarks, James Kouzes and Barry Posner, authors of Encouraging the Heart settle into the main idea of the book. They believe that the heart of leadership is about caring for other people. As we grow in this ability, the performance outcomes we desire improve.
To guide the reader in growing in this area, they present the “Encouragement Index”. The Encouragement Index uses a list of 21 questions for leaders to use in a self-evaluation process. Each question has a scale of 1 – 10 with 10 being the highest.
(For what it’s worth when I took the Encouragement Index my score was 122. This placed me in the third tier of the index. While acknowledging that I have made some initial steps to becoming a more encouraging leader, I still have many growth opportunities. 😭)
Once the reader has identified how well they care for the heart of their team, Encouraging the Heart offers seven essentials of leadership:
- Set clear standards
- Expect the best
- Pay attention
- Tell the story
- Celebrate together
- Set the example
The rest of the Encouraging the Heart provides practical steps and examples that leaders can use to do a better job of recognizing and rewarding the teams that report to them.
Favorite Quotes
“I contend, however, that all things being equal, we will work harder and more effectively for people we like. And we like them in direct proportion to how they make us feel.”
“Great leaders, like great companies, create meaning. Not just money.”
“If we expect [people] to fail they probably will. People tend to live up or down to our expectations of them.”
“But until you truly know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, know what you want to do and why you want to do it, you cannot succeed in any but the most superficial sense of the word.”
Three Takeaways from Encouraging the Heart
Like Pretty Much Everything Else, Leadership Comes Down to Relationships
I once heard a mentor of mine say, “you can’t learn to care about someone you keep at an arm’s distance.” That couldn’t be more spot on. And, it has implications for learning to lead well.
I care deeply about accomplishing whatever objective the organization has established as a top priority. To do this will usually require more than just my effort. So, a team must be formed.
How do we get the most out of that team? Encouraging the Heart’s answer is to learn to care deeply about them. Learn to value them beyond just what they bring to the table. Being a great leader means being deep bonds of trust with the individuals working alongside you. The true task of leadership is relationship development.
If all this sounds a little touchy-feely to you, that’s because it is.
Leaders Who Value Encouraging the Heart Set the Example
Though it can happen, rarely will a subordinate go beyond the example that is set by their leader. This axiom holds true for relationship development as well.
When leaders create loving and supportive environments, they are also granting permission for others within their sphere of influence to do the same.
A good place to start building this habit is to look for opportunities to be vulnerable. To model this practice, I look for chances to publicly own my mistakes.
If, as a senior leader, I can acknowledge where I have erred and demonstrate the steps taken to correct my mistakes it grants the psychological safety needed for others to do the same.
This is not generally a pleasant experience for someone who has more than his share of ego 😇, but the trade-off is worth it!
Encouraging the Heart Means Slowing Down
Slowing down seems to be the current theme of my life. This refrain in some form or fashion keeps appearing. Perhaps it is because, over the last three years, life has moved at a break-neck pace.
But as I have made an intentional effort to step away from non-essentials, I have noticed how much my relationship-building abilities have suffered. Relationship building can’t be rushed.
All of us want our relationships to be marked by quality time. But, there is no way to manufacture quality time in a relationship. You have to invest a quantity of time in the relationship and allow quality time to sprout naturally from it.
This is true in marriages, parenting, friendships, AND the workplace.
Becoming a Leader Who Encourages the Heart
The Encouragement Index highlights opportunities to become a leader who values encouraging the heart. To begin, I’m starting small.
I sent around a short survey to my direct reports to gather some simple information: birthdates, family info, and some of their likes, dislikes, and hobbies. Sure, it probably would have been a little less wooden if I would have gathered this intel in conversation, but I have a lot of direct reports and I was anxious to begin. (Probably, should re-read that previous section 🤣)
Once I had a little background on my staff, it did make for some fun conversations over the next several weeks as we compared and contrasted our interests, and books we had read or argued the merits of coffee vs. tea.
It’s a small start, but it’s a start. I’m now working to be more attentive to chances big and small to recognize and reward good performance. By tailoring each recognition to the preference of the individual I am ensuring that my praise has the intended effect.
Am I becoming more encouraging? I guess time will tell.
