I’ve been on a bit of an Andy Crouch kick lately. A friend recommended his book Strong and Weak which I read and loved but have yet to review. Then right before we left for NYC, I read his book on culture making. It was fascinating to enjoy the trip with all those thoughts rattling around in my head.
His most recent work, The Tech-Wise Family is perhaps the most instantly practical book of his I have read. It is a book that everyone, especially those of us with kids under 30 need to read.
Crouch’s premise is that the ubiquitous nature of technology is not only changing the world, but it is also changing us and our families. As I sit typing this in my living room, I can count no less than 6 screens (TV, 2 iPads, and 2 iPhones, and a laptop).
The “easy everywhere” nature of technology is affecting the way we relate to the world and to each other. We are more connected than ever, but our real life relational muscles are slowly atrophying from a lack of use.
So, what is the solution? Is all technology bad or evil? Certainly not! Advances in technology are responsible millions of lives being saved and indoor plumbing! But, technology needs to be put in its “proper place” to prevent it from taking too dominant a role in our life.
Crouch confesses that while he is not Amish in his approach, he might be considered “almost, almost Amish”. Not all families will choose to adopt the 10 suggestions he outlines, but reading and discussing this book is a great start to figuring out how to begin becoming less of a consumer of pointless media and using our God-given gifts of creativity and wisdom to make the world a better place.
Favorite Quotes
“We are continually being nudged by our devices toward a set of choices. The question is whether those choices are leading us to the life we actually want. I want a life of conversation and friendship, not distraction and entertainment; but every day, many times a day, I’m nudged in the wrong direction. One key part of the art of living faithfully with technology is setting up better nudges for ourselves.”
“Family is about the forming of persons.”
“Family shapes us in countless ways. “
“Family helps form us into persons who have acquired courage and wisdom”
“But technology is only very good if it can help us become the persons we were meant to be.”
“Without a doubt, compared to human beings just one century ago, we are more globally connected, better informed about many aspects of the world, in certain respects more productive, and- thanks to GPS and Google Maps- certainly less lost. But are we more patient, kind, forgiving, fearless, committed, creative than they were? If we are, how much credit should technology receive?”
“So if you only do one thing in response to this book, I urge you to make it this: find the room where your family spends the most time and ruthlessly eliminate the things that ask little of you and develop little in you. Move the TV to a less central location-and ideally a less comfortable one.”
“This is the central nudge of the tech-wise life: to make the place where we spend the most amount of time the place where ‘easy everywhere’ is hardest to find.”
My Three Takeaways
Technology is Everywhere and has a Powerful Hold on Us
I have felt this in at least two powerful ways. Technology makes it too easy for us to escape into a bright blue screen instead of engaging with the people and world around us. It asks nothing of us. It is a cheap escape from the boredom or awkwardness that is a natural part of life.
Getting sucked into technology (TV, social media, video games whatever your opiate of choice) means that we end up consuming more than we create. There isn’t anything wrong with a little mindless entertainment now and then, but a steady stream of technology means we stop acting out the creative impulses that we are all wired with (creative doesn’t mean crafty. It means using the gifts God gave you to make the world a better place!)
It’s Not Just a Problem for Kids
There isn’t a parent alive who hasn’t handed a phone or tablet to their kid just to get a few moments of peace. And, while the effects of technology on kids is well documented (higher obesity rates, shorter attention spans to name a few) the problem doesn’t stop after adolescences.
TBH I have a technology problem. I don’t watch TV unless it is baseball or a Florida Gators away game and I don’t spend much time on Facebook. But, I am a news junkie. I canceled my newspapers deliveries 3 years ago but still read 2 papers a day online and spend way too much time on Twitter. Because I have an Apple Watch, every time a news alert hits, my wrist buzzes and I can’t help looking down, even mid-conversation. This is embarrassing and sad.
Heck, I even started reading this book on my iPad as a free E-book through the library. I read one chapter, closed the Kindle app, opened the Amazon app and purchased the hardback. I couldn’t stomach the irony.
Parents, if we want to help our kids develop a healthy relationship with technology we have to first model it before them. It is very difficult to ask our kids to take steps we are not willing to do ourselves. We have to lead the way.
There are Questions That We Need to Ask and Answer as a Family
If a central purpose of families is to help train up future adults to be wise and courageous, how is our use of technology helping or hindering this process?
What type of family do we want to be? What do we want to cherish and value as a family?
Is the way we are currently using technology helping us become like that ??
Truth is that Jenn and I don’t have answers to all these questions yet. We have a sense that we need to make some changes and even what some of those might be. But, these are the questions that will make up some of the dinner conversations over the next couple weeks as we begin trying to keep technology in its proper place.
