At this point we have become accustomed to the stares. They seem to be coming less frequently or we have developed the ability to tune them out.

Few people actually have anything to say. The ones who do vacillate between being kind and being funny.

“Are you going to tell him he’s adopted?” 
“So, did you breastfeed?”

It was only last week that we felt the true disconnect that some people have with parenting children who look different than you. 

As Jennifer was walking through Kmart with our foster daughter doing a little shoe shopping, a lady of a similar ethnicity to our daughter approached “T” while she sat in the cart. 

“Are you alright? Are you ok?” 

The look on her face mde her meaning unmistakeable. 

An odd question considering that “T” wasn’t upset, wasn’t crying, wasn’t even pouting. Are you kidding? She was getting new shoes! No, this question was about something much deeper. “T” said she was fine and the woman scurried away as my wife walked back to the cart. 

It was the first time that we have been truly bother by another person’s comments or actions. She clearly thought that our daughter was in some danger or disadvantage in being with us. It kinda stung.

Jennifer and I are far from perfect parents. And, in a perfect world there would be no need for a Foster Care System. But, we don’t live in a perfect world.

It is true that there are cultural nuances that we won’t understand. We don’t pretend to. Our goal with all our children- biological, adopted and foster- is to raise them with a deep understand of love, grace and forgiveness. That is a language that crosses any divide.