A buddy of my recently tweeted out an excellent question:
“Why do I always want what I do not have? #frustrating”
Maybe I found his question interesting because it resonates so powerfully with me. I have uttered the same statement in a variety of forms many times. So what’s the answer?
It is a question that must be parsed.
Why do I want this particular thing?
If I obtain it, what will be the result?
Will I be happier? Richer? More satisfied?
Will I really? Or will it be like so many other things in my life that I have obtained only to be momentarily pleased. And the cycle of desire starts all over again? Trying to discern what my underlying motives are for wanting a particular thing has been the most helpful practice in answering the question.
What I know to be true is that my desires have to reoriented. Desire in and of itself is not a bad thing. We were created to desire things, God desires things, heck John Piper has built an entire career out of the subject. Desire isn’t the problem. My misplaced affections are the problem.
Most of the time, I want things that are ultimately bad for me. Maybe not in the short term but over the course of time. I am a master at taking a good thing and making it an ultimate thing.
Think about it like this.
God is a good father who gives good gifts to his children. (Matt. 7:11)
If I don’t have _______________ (fill in the blank with your current desire) It either means that God is a jerk or that desire isn’t good for me. At least right now.
I don’t think God is a jerk. So the latter must be true.
These are some of the mental gymnastics I go through when I find myself being frustrated or overwhelmed by my desires. It boils down to a heart and gut check.
Learning to be content with what I have is really a matter of trust. I have to trust that I have been given by God exactly what I need for this point in my life. And, if I don’t have something (more money, a relationship) it is because God, in his infinite wisdom knows it is not best for me at this point. I have to trust that he knows what he is doing.
How do you respond when you find your desires being unfulfilled? You can respond in the comments below.
