10-25 The Science of Motivating Young People - Book Review

Kids these days, am I right?

We’ve all heard it, and most of us have probably said it. As a coach of students and young adults over the last 20 years, I know I have. Kids today are different from when we were growing up.

A variety of factors have contributed to this reality—the advent of social media, the fact that they were raised by us rather than our parents—but that’s a discussion for another day.

In his book 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People, David Yeager explores the developmental psychology of individuals aged 10 to 25. He emphasizes their heightened sensitivity to status and respect. The big takeaway is that this age group is biologically driven to seek pride, admiration, and respect while being particularly averse to experiences of humiliation or shame.

I’m determined to figure this out. I lead an agency with many staff in this age group, coach several teams with young men in this age group, and I’m raising two kids in this age group!

So, armed with this understanding, how should this shape the way we lead these young people if we aim to adopt the mentor mindset?

A central concept in the book is the “mentor mindset,” which advocates for a leadership style that balances high expectations with substantial support. This approach contrasts with the “enforcer mindset,” characterized by strict standards and minimal support, and the “enabler or protector mindset,” which involves low expectations and excessive coddling.

The idea is that when we offer high accountability – a commitment to require young people to meet the standards we set AND we provide them with high support – the encouragement, feedback and access to resources to help them meet those standards, we are serving as the mentors, leaders and coaches that are ultimately most successful.

So how do we do that???

Yeager suggests that adults can effectively engage young people by:

Validating their perspectives: Acknowledge and respect their viewpoints rather than dismissing them.

Asking questions: Encourage open dialogue instead of dictating actions.

Maintaining high standards: Challenge them to meet expectations while providing necessary support.

The challenge is that this is not how most of us were treated growing up. Our natural inclination as leaders is often to lead the way we were led because, “Hey, we turned out okay,” or to lead others the way we like to be led rather than how they need to be led.

In either case, adopting a mentor mindset with this generation requires humility and selflessness from leaders and coaches who want to see their teams, employees, or kids succeed.

For coaches working with young men, applying these principles involves:

Building trust: Show genuine interest in their experiences and aspirations to foster a respectful and trusting relationship. You’ve probably heard it before: “Rules without relationship = rebellion.”

Encouraging autonomy: Involve them in decision-making processes to enhance their sense of ownership and responsibility. Look for opportunities to include them—ask what they see, what needs improvement, and foster buy-in, especially with team leaders.

Providing constructive feedback: Offer feedback that is specific, actionable, and framed positively to promote growth and learning. Be specific about where they excel, specific in your confidence that they can achieve what you’re asking, and specific about how they can improve to achieve the desired results.

By adopting the mentor mindset, coaches can create an environment that not only motivates young men but also supports their development into confident and capable individuals.